Nephew with Schizophrenia

[Pushbutton]

Until his late teens I had an absolutely fantastic relationship with my nephew.

Unfortunately my sister (his mother) was unable to take good care of him due to her drug and alcohol issues, and involvement in mostly petty crime.

For this reason my parents ended up looking after him.

In his childhood and early teens I enjoyed many fun activities with him, and also a girl the same age who my parents also cared for.

Since entering adulthood he has sadly developed symptoms of Schizophrenia, and also fallen into the exact same types of behaviour as his mother with drugs, alcohol and crime.

It's a loooooong story but he spent several years in the juvenile justice system, then was homeless for a few years. 

During this time I had very little contact with him, but since then he's actually lived with me twice.

We're now in the same city, but sadly I'm finding it impossible to see him and the only contact I have is on Social media.

I do believe he now has a job, which is great.

Last Christmas I was really hoping to see him, and he did say on Social media that he would meet me at Christmas, but sadly didn't.

Anyone had a similar experience with someone close to them and any ideas on how to reconnect would be much appreciated.

[amber22]

Hello @Pushbutton 

Thank you for sharing what you're feeling, I am so sorry that you're experiencing this because I can see how much you really care for your nephew and want to reconnect properly like you were before.

From your side, you are doing everything that you can, but just getting over that bridge to actually see him is seeming to be really hard. Is there a way that you could connect with him over the phone? Like calling or facetiming? Maybe he is in a tough spot and doesn't feel up for meeting in person, but would appreciate some support over the phone? It might seem less daunting for him. 

All the best,

Amber22

[Pushbutton]

Thanks for the reply.

I have his mobile number but he never answers it.

A few months ago I saw on Facebook messenger he was online so thought I'd try calling him. He answered and we had a really good chat for a whole hour, but that's a very rare occurrence these days!

[Former-Member]

@Pushbutton, just thought I'd pop in to give you a great tip for the forums. If you're responding to someone, make sure to type "@" and then their username. This means they will get a notification that you've tagged them.

I thought I'd also tag a few members who are family of folks going through it. Maybe they'll have some things to offer. @Determined @Shaz51 ❤️ 

[Pushbutton]

@Former-Member Thanks for your help and support!

[Krishna]

Hi @Pushbutton My daughter has schizophrenia and no longer lives with me. She had estranged herself from me for the past 3 years but I consistently kept the lines of communication open via weekly txt messages. It’s only been these past few months where she has been finally replying on occasion and has agreed to me visiting her. So please, keep the contact flowing and never give up hope that you will reconnect with your nephew 🙏

[Pushbutton]

Wonderful that you're hopefully on the way to an improved relationship there!

[Shaz51]

hello @Pushbutton , how are you today 

tagging a few members @Ana1 , @-Mumma- , @greenpea , @Tinker67 

hello @Krishna 

[Ivymay]

What a lovely Aunty you are.  My son was diagnosed with schizophrenia more than 30 years ago and like your experience with your nephew we “lost” him for a while…on and off for 10 years or so.

By that I mean he lived in group home situations or was homeless or disappeared from time to time.  When he got on and stayed on the  correct medication  and decided to get off alcohol and drugs he came good.  He went to TAFE and has worked ever since and is paying off a home.  As a family we just hung in there as back up…he knew where home was and would come home from time to time.  It was stressful and heartbreaking (particularly if he was missing..always worried about suicide). Anyhow all I wanted to say was just continue to be there for him… my sons Uncles and Nana were supportive of my son - offered a bed if he turned up…so hang in there Aunty and keep up the support and love. Your nephew is lucky to have a connection with you thru social media…it’s great you are there for him.