My Mosaic

[Bow]

@Jynx  not sure if your around but hi. Hope your weeks been ok?

[Jynx]

@Bow Hey chook!! My week has been ok, honestly haven't done much - it's all a blur lol. Oh, I did cook up a good hearty stew, and made brownies last night! 

How's you?

[Bow]

Yeah the days do just tend to blur into one long week eh @Jynx 

we had stew one night… mum made a huge one weeks ago and froze half of it. It was yummy. Probably the only healthy nutritional meal I’ve had all week in all honest. 

nothing new here… shitty rough week. SW back after 2 weeks, communicating has been hard. My SW text me saying my old SW had resigned as team leader on Monday and Tuesday was her last day to say good bye. I of course shut down even more. SW turns up in my drive way Wednesday after not responding. She calls me we talk about stuff, how I am, and then I invite her in and she goes all casual in me. 😩🤷🏼‍♀️ I sent her this big ass long message last night and she wants to walk and talk this morning as she had an hour free but I was busy. So now I wait until Tuesday. Sigh

im sorry I feel like a broken record. Same sh!t diff day. Nothing changing. 

psych still not back. 

oh and my gp called for a welfare check. I missed her call cause I was driving. So she called my mum!!!!!!! (!!!!!!). 

[Jynx]

Oh @Bow wanted to say this - 

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@Bow wrote:

I’ve made a book bouquet today. I need some more flowers though 

@rav3n @tyme @Ru-bee @AuntGlow @Eve7 @Snowie @Jynx 

 

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bloody incredible!! You constantly inspire me with your creative talents, for real!! 

Sigh, I am hearing ya darlin. If you feel like a broken record here, I can only imagine what it's like internally. Same sh!t diff day indeed. 

Some huggles for ya 

 (つˆ⌣ˆ)つ

What happened w the call to your mum? She up in your bizz now? 

[Bow]

Thanks @Jynx  im liking the book bouquet or vase. Just need to source some cheaper flowers cause artificial ones are just as expensive as real ones!

I’m not entirely sure what my gp said, but mum was like ‘she hasn’t seen you in 3 months. Are you suppose to be getting bloods done?’. She asked if I was pissed of with her for some reason. I said no. Just haven’t been. 
it couldn’t of come at any worse timing cause my intake has decreased more and mum has commented.  So I’m half expecting her to be nagging at me more and more.

[Jynx]

@Bow I've noticed that about fake flowers!! Like why are they so costly, they're just plastic!! Would you go pick wild ones and dry them? 

Do you think you're a bit overwhelmed/burnt out hun, and so things like bloods and attending appts feels like too much? 

[Bow]

Never dried flowers before @Jynx  and wouldn’t know where to go to find them.

things was kinda what I was telling my SW in the long text I sent her last night. Feeling like I am at the lowest I’ve been in a long time and absolutely everything is so challenging to do. There is this profound fatigue and not just physical but emotional too. Some days I feel like I only have the energy to exists. To survive. Sometimes I don’t even know if I can do that simple thing. So things like showering, feeding cats, washing, going to appointments, they all feel impossible. I spend so much time just sitting around. Being lazy. I sleep. I sleep so late for me. Like I never sleep in. But I am at the moment. 
hmp doom scrolling. Googling stuff I shouldn’t. I’m really tired yeah. Like bone tired. Very easily not exist. 

[Jynx]

Our bodies run on habit @Bow. Even if you somehow had all the icky thoughts evaporate overnight, your body would still crave the lack of action - cos that's the habit you're in. It makes sense that everything feels overwhelming, but it's absolutely not laziness. If it were, you'd be enjoying yourself. 

I'm worried about you hun, what might you do to help keep yourself safe tonight? 

[Bow]

Definitely no enjoyment here @Jynx 

dont worry about it. I’m in bed. Just waiting 

[Jynx]

@Bow waiting for what hun? I am sorry but I am gonna continue to worry about you when things are this rough hun. That's just who I am.