My Mosaic

[Bow]

My Mosaic

I like mosaic art, I’ve never actually done any, but it intrigued me. Made up of hundreds of tiny pieces of stone, glass and ceramic. If you look at it close up it doesn’t really look like anything special, if anything it looks like a mess. But if you take a step back and view the whole picture- it’s a master piece. I guess it’s kind of like life. So many tiny parts, some messy if we look just at the one part. Some day i guess I’d hope that the mess of my life will at some point look half decent.

So here is part of my mosaic, bits and pieces kept tidy together 🙂

tagging you @Emelia8 cause you asked 🙂

[Bow]

Today’s been a long day. It’s been full on and I feel smashed. This morning I voiced to a helpline for the first time exactly what is going on inside me. Although it didn’t help much and didn’t change anything, I found a bit of my voice.

This afternoon I meet with my friend whom I texted a couple of days ago that I am not ok. I felt so much shame about where I am again and had no idea how I was going to tell her how bad I actually am. But she listened and I felt heard and She didn’t judge me. She offered to contact the psychologist that I am waiting to get an appointment with to see if anything can be done to get an appointment soon (my friend is also my pastor, kind of my second family and used the pastoral care card I guess?) otherwise we discussed me looking at finding someone else. I now have an actual appointment for 2 weeks time. Something to aim for I guess.

I feel exposed tonight and paranoid that my family are going to find out now. I feel like I have been hit by a bus and am so extremely tired. I’ve hardly eat today and added with the exhaustion my body feels like it’s shutting down.  I need to take some extra sleepers tonight or I fear of what tomorrow will be. I need to sleep.

[Emelia8]

Hi @Bow ... yes I did ask, and I really appreciate that you remembered.  

Love the title of your new thread.  Mosaic ... I tend to think of mosaic as being many broken pieces all put back together in a stronger and more beautiful final piece.

I have subscribed to your thread now, and will get updates as and when you post them.  I may not always answer, but I am definitely following along and will respond when I can.

Thanks Bow.  Still waiting for picture to come through.  Will check back later.

Emelia 💕

[Judi9877]

Hi @Bow . I love your mosaic! You are so talented. Well done. I like the image you have created and the way you describe mosaic art as things in life being fragmented yet all coming together. That is so true in many ways and I really appreciate this outlook on life. Thank you for opening my eyes to this. I wish I could do mosaic work but I believe it can be expensive and messy and you need a lot of space which is hard in a rental place. It would be really great to learn and do though if I ever had a chance. I think I'll just stick to cross stitch- that design would look brilliant stitched!-, knitting and crochet.

Keep up the great work and I look forward to seeing your inspiring and creative work of mosaic!

Judi9877

[Bow]

Hey @Judi9877 i didn’t actually do that picture, maybe I should add that, but did mentioned that I haven’t actually done any mosaic- sorry for the confusion. 

Understand the lack of space in a rental. I started a canvas painting a couple of weeks ago and have painting gear everywhere, need to get it finished so I can pack everything away again- rentals eh! 

Thank you 

[Former-Member]

@Bow that's a beautiful mosaic and and even more beautiful message behind it - thank you for sharing; it's really made me think.

Take care 

[Bow]

Thanks @Former-Member  I really connect to the art of mosaic and would really like to do some. I’d like to write another book one day around the connect of it and weaving my story into I guess 

[Former-Member]

That sounds like a great idea @Bow! 😊 

[Bow]

I wonder why sh*tty things keep happening

i wonder why I was chosen for this life

why me?

i wonder why 

why does life feel so cruel

why didn’t I go last time, why did I come back

[Bow]

There is a scream inside me wanting to get out there is a longing in my heart for a place I’ve never been