Hi @hiddenite
I did not have a sense of a future until the last year ... but in the meantime .. life has meandered along ... people doing their thing ... and I am able to collect and compose myself after a long period of trauma.
We dont know what the future will bring ... but time inevitably passes by regardless ...
Can you try and engage with the content in the courses ...
I have seen the down-side of too much discussion about Suicide ... it can become an immature competition ... and get out of hand ... yes it needs to be discussed carefully ...
It is important not to normalise suicide ... it may be a common reaction to certain sorts of situations ... but once it is known that a plan has occurred to someone ... the workers do have a duty of care to you ... not to engage with discussion about it that it will encourage it ...
you can be such a creative person ... try and find at least one positive thing in your classes ...eg that you managed to get through with crying ... or that you said something you are proud you said .. or that you thought someone else said something good .... or smiled ... or had a an insight ...etc ..
I dont know you well enough .... but they are just some ways of looking at being in the groups without collapsing into you old overwhelming or negative tapes.
